Is this kid really all that today’s youth have as an option for ‘cool’??

Amplify’d from

I thought the internet was joking today, but it’s not. Barely 16 year old pop phenom Justin Bieber is not only penning his memoirs, we shit you not, but Paramount pictures will be turning his life story into a 3D feature biopic movie.

Deadline confirms the story we don’t have the wherewithal to write a whole lot about, but I mean… Really? I mean, with my twisted imagination, I can envision a really great book or R-rated movie about the Bieb’s life story, but that’s because my deviant brain imagines him discovering what his penis does by running trains on cougars backstage at the Selsun Blue Arena high on cocaine and Fun Dip. Something tells me that’s not what his own manager, L.A. Reid, and Inconvenient Truth director Davis Guggenheim are working on bringing to theaters on Valentine’s Day weekend next year.

Hopefully, Bieber’s relevance won’t survive the sure to be cursed project any longer than Mariah’s post-Glitter, or Vanilla Ice’s post-Cool As Ice.

By the by, some folks have recently pointed out that Justin Bieber plays 5 instruments. I just want to remind everyone that the trumpet doesn’t count as an instrument, and counting vocals as one of them is kinda cheating.

Also, fuck you Hollywood.



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